Avoid Fashion Faux Pas : My Autumn Winter Survival Guide

baroque fashion catwalk

Lavish Baroque

There are so many ‘key trends’ being shoved in our faces at the moment and to be honest it opens up a world of pain for most of us and can result in some of us (er me) looking like we’ve fallen into the Primark sale bin covered in superglue and then walked around town wearing the result.  So I’m going to break it down for you all.  What credentials do I have to do this you may ask?  Well, I spend a shit load of money on clothes and fashion magazines and I look pretty good in them (the clothes not the mags as I don’t want paper cuts on my noo noo).

purple blue catwalk trend

Rocking purple reigns

Cobalt or purple is the new black in A/W and thankfully it’s a colour anyone can wear. For god sake though don’t wear it with any other bright colours but keep it to other darker shades of blue and black.  If you’re wearing it head to toe on a night out accessorise with silver or black.  Remember not to wear it with a matching hat or cape or gold star jewellery, as you will look like a wizard.


Layering always comes back in.  If you’re a skinny Minnie then you can rock this no problem but if you’re bigger than a size ten avoid it, as you’ll look like a present that’s been wrapped by a three year old with the contents spilling out at each join.  Chanel and LV liked skirts worn over skinny trousers (see left).  To be honest, I think I started in the early 90s when concerned over a.  The fatness of my legs and b.  The fatness of my arse, so this look solves both.

masculine country catwalk

Masculine country gentile


Baroque is something I’ve got a bit addicted to as it allows you to venture out looking like King Midas.  With this look stylists are saying ‘more is more’ which is dangerous, as soon I’ll look like a talking walking toffee penny.  It’s opulent, luxurious and beautiful.  Yes layer it on but have one feature piece and use a block colour to break it up.


Country is back – please be aware I mean country gent as opposed to Dolly Parton.  This year it’s much more masculine with the trendy trouser suit taking command and shirts, ties and wool jumpers worn underneath.  Lets me honest, really expensive tweed can itch like a mo fo so I’d only ever wear this as a skirt or shorts with tights underneath.  I like this look to be jazzed up with a bit of fur to be honest so people think ‘oooh look she’s clearly been out on her estate and killed a leopard’.

dress leather catwalk

Gucci Leather


Now I always get a little bit excited when I hear that leather is coming back though the reality isn’t so great.  My cousin Debbie spent £250 on some black leather trousers when I was nine and told me she wore them about ten times before ever getting them cleaned.  Yuck they must be sweaty right up against your poon.  They joy of fake leather is that it makes you feel just as sexy but at a fraction of the cost.  There are lots of skirts and trousers out there with leather panels let in which gives a much greater freedom if movement, rather than walking like you’ve shit yourself.


Studs are on everything – be it leather or denim.  These are handy for shoulder barging into annoying people if on your jacket but be warned, if you cross your legs in studded shorts you will look like you have the worst cellulite ever.  The studded slipper shoes that are popping up in most shops are a nice understated way of saying ‘hey, I’m still with it but I’m not going to be in your face about it’.


So I could tell you wear to buy all this stuff but that takes the challenge away don’t you think?  Personally I like to mix the classier stuff on offer in Zara with Topshop, River Island and Primark (maybe a sprinkling of ASOS to show off).  My Bambi and Manson shorts will feature highly this season with some sloppy knits, tights and creepers (love that flat shoes are BIG).  I’m also getting some great wiggles dresses for work from theprettydresscompany as they make me feel a million dollars and their colour range is superb!

catwalk ysl gucci layers

Piling it on for fashion

So that’s how it’s going dowwwwwwn my friends.  Go forth, flex the credit and conquer.   Oh and if you are really big boned ignore all of the above and stick to leggings.  Thanks.


A thirty something, fifties inspired traveller with a love of home comforts and pretty things. Lives in Norwich, plays in London.

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