Tattoos : not original, in fact yesterdays news

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Oh lord, it’s happening again….the tramp stamp…it never truly goes away but just changes location

Ok so I have mixed opinions on tattoos. I think modern day tattoos are so artistic but why do people have to go for not only the tattoo design that is on trend but also the body part?

Men, as in most things in life haven’t exactly experimented with the on trend tattoo – moving from a few childhood inspired tazmanian devils on the bicep which end up looking like a big brown blobby birthmark after a few years, to horrid heavy black celtic lines over one arm (thankyou for that one Robbie Williams) to random splatters of latin/old roman letters which could say ‘f*ck your grandmother’ for all they know.

These tattoo advocates are now riding on the popularity of The Sleeve. Now, I love sleeves however, much like my girl guide badges I feel that sleeves should be built up over a lifetime. You know, adding something to represent life achievements so that your arm tells a story. But oh no, most of the idiots that do this go and ask for a whole sleeve and then proceed to struggle to fill it up. Much like when you get a pot of pick n mix from Wilkinsons; you’ve already put all the good stuff in and there are few choices left so to get the best value you just shove in some of those horrible midget gems or milk bottles (gag).

So next time someone has a sleeve look closely as you’ll find an old ‘mistake’ lurking – such a faded ghostly Winnie the Pooh hiding behind a beautifully inked tree.

Now lets move onto the ladies. Now girls, tradition has dictated that we follow fashion in tattoos as much a the length of our skirts. We like to copy celebrity designs (Mark Owens Dolphin anyone?) and if someone beautiful in the media has a tattoo we immediately think that if we get something similar the that will by default make us beautiful also.

In the 80s women seemed to go for the landlady rose/heart/Betty Boop tattoo on their left breast (shudder) only to be followed in the 90s with the infamous black scrawly tramp stamp on the lower back also affectionately known as “shag antlers” as this is something for a guy to hold onto while doing it from behind. Also, thanks to Pammy Anderson some arm barb wire started appearing – definitely one to only get done in henna.

Lady tats went a bit quiet in the 2000s though they decreased in size with a sly Chinese symbol on the bum cheek or an initial behind the ear. I think stars like Katy Perrt showed us the delights of clean and clear alabaster skin..

Now, in current day the new tramp stamp/stripper favourite is the hip/side tattoo. Normally of some kind of flower which will have no apparent meaning – it just looks nice, Most of these girls go in wanting their cherry blossom and suddenly realise when the needle hits that having someone scratch a needle over your ribs repetitively is hell on earth and not for the faint hearted.

I’ve sat in a tattooists parlour four times in my life – once for a unicorn, once for some blue stars, once for a pin up girl and once for a musical stave. The latter was the only one I went ahead with and even now I wished I’d had the first bar of an actual song rather than notes that looked cool. My only saving grace is that if I ever go missing and my family are asked for any unique features I have one now be it good or bad!

Tread carefully people. If you’re retro cool and suit tattoos then they can be beautiful but if you work in IT, wear crocs and don’t want to look like an example of ‘what went wrong in the twenty teens’ then buy a nice pair of earrings instead.

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About

A thirty something, fifties inspired traveller with a love of home comforts and pretty things. Lives in Norwich, plays in London.


'Tattoos : not original, in fact yesterdays news' have 2 comments

  1. October 7, 2013 @ 7:59 am Tony Devilish

    I think you were thinking arse when you typed “Katy Perrt” 😉

    Reply

    • August 17, 2014 @ 3:37 pm Mando

      I often think ‘arse’ – one of my failings.

      Reply


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