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Sugar daddys, Milfs, Toy boys, Cougars and other dating mid life crises

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Luvva or Muvva


So we’ve seen recently in the glittering world of celebrity that age gap relationships just don’t work.  Demi Moore after years of wearing factor 50 in the winter to preserve her skin, doing 100 pelvic floor exercises a day, botox, lifts, 3 hours in the gym still didn’t stop her husband 14 years her junior from cheating on her with a 23 year old actress.

Jennifer Lopez is the latest to find ‘love’ with a younger man.  At 24 the goonish looking Casper Smart is 18 years younger than his new mother, sorry GIRLFRIEND.  So what’s my view; well it’s simple..

The way I see it, it  is very rare age gap relationships work in the long term.  Everyone loves talking about a tousle they had with a younger man but we’re talking one nighters not til death do us part status.  I remember a right little hottie who when the lights went out was all man but the next day he whined his mum always brings him breakfast in bed on Sundays and actually jumped on the bed yelping ‘yay’ to get me up before bounding down the stairs to watch Hollyoaks.  I won’t even talk about the ‘I luv u.UR sxy.RU tkng of me’ texts that followed ten times that day.

So here’s the thing, an older woman is attractive to a man because they are a mother figure that has sex with them.  You’re not going to get a 19 year old girl that shags you senseless, makes you breakfast, lets you watch her big screen telly and then drives you home in her nice car from her mortgaged house after rather than having to walk home from some student shared piss hole.  

This will wear off though boys.  Pretty soon you’ll notice how much work it takes to sustain a woman of a certain age, the creams, pills, potions.  She can’t go out, get lashed and bounce back the next morning or lay in bed all day as she has responsibilities and old organs that alcohol hate.  If you stay with her she’ll soon tire of your perkiness and nights out, wanting nights in and quiet.  You’ll realise you can’t whip off her dress in a park for hot sex as firstly she’ll have enough scaffolding keeping her body in place than if the tower bridge was revamped and also she is afraid of one of the big C’s – Consequence.  There are 3 C’s :  Consequence, Commitment and Children.  Consequence stops her having fun, Commitment required from you quickly because she’ll be insecure about the age gap and Children as her clock is ticking!  Be warned boys….a Cougar bites back.

Men as usual are simple creatures.  They want a young girl on their own as a status symbol.  They don’t care if it’s because of their money or position – a young piece of totty dripping of an older man is two fingers up to the world whether you’re George Clooney or the owner of the local tesco.  Women going for older

hugh heffner young girlfriend

Grandaddy lover

men always have a daddy complex.  Unless they are indeed George Clooney, no woman wants to shag a man old enough to be her father.  An older man provides security, money and is a gent – something we girls value.  So yes the older man/young girl relationship is much simpler than that of the Cougar in terms of expectation and reward – hence sites like being so successful.

My advice?  Have a little tryst with an older guy/gal but never settle long term.  That gap between a 20 and 30 year old seems much wider as you start ageing as do her puppy dog tits and the rate his arse is sliding down the back of his legs.

Harsh but true.





A thirty something, fifties inspired traveller with a love of home comforts and pretty things. Lives in Norwich, plays in London.

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