So I went to another blogging festival this year called Blogstock– not to be confused with Bloodstock for death metal fans? I love blogging and like to think I blog because not only do I have an opinion but I’m also rather passive aggressive. I use my blog to moan and complain virtually and can be quite submissive in real life. With this personal stereotype in mind, I imagined a blogging festival to be full of introverts madly scribbling away in corners.
Ok so there were a few scribblers but generally bloggers are loud and proud, almost like they have been shut in a dark room with no contact for years and are finally happy to be out and allowed around people again. A blogging event is like a school playground where people separate into their separate camps/genres. I’ve been to a few of these blogging meets now and they always amaze me.
Group One – Travel bloggers
The majority of travel bloggers are 19 year old girls that have had a fantastic gap yarrrrr and want to be paid to have that amount of fun again and again. Often these bloggers realise that travel takes money so you need a job to fund it. However, once working you are restricted to 20 days holiday a year so your travel blog becomes old pretty quickly or fills up with cheap weeks in Benidorm rather than 4 months in Burma. If you do get noticed by brands then you need to be flexible (not working) and ready to jet off at a moments notice – not easy. These girls were a happy gaggle, motivated by sheer youthful exuberance, yakking about Columbian soup and Japanese flip flops until the early hours, plus they were pretty at ease with the whole camping thing. Spot them: leather bracelets, flip flops in December, tie dye dresses, permanent dysentery.
Group Two – Mummy bloggers
Most mummy bloggers start blogging during their year out to suckle the infant. Stuck at home, bored and wanting to share the best cracked nipple cream, they take to the internet and swamp mumsnet with ideas on pureed food and nappy fragrances. Often mum bloggers are quite middle class, promoting cloth nappies, organic juices and carrying their children in weird sheet slings that they’ve seen on a documentary about Ghana. This group are devils! If they’ve left junior at home then they hit the pinot grigio like ravenous beasts, staying up until 3am by choice and not because of a screaming infant. Spot them: leaking milk ducts, baby sick on clothing, tired, drunk, and happy.
Group Three – Craft bloggers
No there isn’t a lot of white witch bloggers, these are the (often stay at home mums) who have jumped on the craft revival bandwagon. This quiet group are crocheting; knitting, using pasta shapes as jewellery (not so good in the rain) and creating office blocks out of paper mache. Always good to befriend this group as if any emergency strikes i.e. a broken heel then this group can knit you a new pair of shoes in 3 seconds. Spot them: Crocheted onesie, knitting needles to hold back hair, paint splashes instead of make up.
Group Four – Fashion bloggers
The fashion bloggers are easy to spot. They’ll be wearing their trousers as a hat, their skirt as a top and furry underpants, all in the name of fashion. These girls draw lots, taking inspiration from the people around them. They talk a foreign language that only each other can understand, voicing critique on skorts, Versace, palazzos, loubies and kitten bows. They will wear cotton in winter and fur in summer. The competitiveness between them all is wonderful. They all want to be spotted, applauded and adored. Spot them: diamonds, wedge heels, floppy hats, gold onesie, crocodile skin waistcoat and a handbag that cost them a years salary (or a day if a Turkish copy)
Group 5 – Beauty Bloggers
These little honeys are pristine. They often cross pollinate with the fashion bloggers as there is a shared love of being obsessed with looking marvellous. They will don purple glitter eye shadow and a neon lip just to pop to the local off licence for some cider. Everywhere they go they will leave a trail of sweet scent like a Bisto advert only less meaty. If you speak with them and are unaware of the new jellyfish cryogenic face peel you will be immediately ousted from their circles. Swot up to be accepted.
Group 6 – Lifestyle Bloggers
These are the jumbled up schizophrenic types (me). They don’t really know what to blog about so tend to just blog about what they like which tends to turn into an online diary. Some of these bloggers are often a little unaware that their personal thoughts are read by the masses and will be scared, shocked and worried when someone approaches them and says ‘heyyy you had that awfully bad date where the guy made a pass at your sister right?’. You cannot really say what a lifestyle blogger looks like as they tend to merge into their surrounds like a chameleon. The ultimate passive aggressive that banks all the daily toils, loves and laughs in order to outpour them when they get home.
So there you go, we’re a strange breed. Some of us are sociable, some of us mix and some of us are best left in our own company. We all have an opinion though, whether in the loud shape of Perez Hilton or in a more unassuming secret observer kind of way and many are worth listening to. For me, it’s great to meet the wealth and breadth around in the blogosphere and I’ll certainly be going to more meet ups in future.